Well, Sweet Peas,
You're here! We love you so much, I can't even begin to put it into words. Every time I look at you, you take my breath away. And since I look at you all the time, I pretty much live in a state of breathlessness. (I also hold you all the time. All. The. Time. Nothing in this world is as beautiful, sweet, and clever as you, and your dad and I have never been happier in our whole lives than we are right now.)
I wanted to tell you my birth story, because it's also your birth story. On Sunday, May 27th, I woke up early in the morning with cramps. They felt like menstrual cramps, but quite a bit stronger. (I was immediately hopeful, because your Memere told me that her contractions felt like menstrual cramps when she was in labor with me.) I tried to go back to sleep, but every five minutes or so, I would wake up again with these cramps. They began to get a lot stronger, and after about an hour of them, your dad woke up. I said, "I think we might have a baby today!" I didn't want to get my hopes up too high, because I had thought I was in labor three days earlier, on Thursday. (We went to the hospital on Thursday, after I had been having a ton of Braxton Hicks contractions, and the doctor checked me and said that my contractions would need to get a lot stronger before I was in actual labor, but that I was in the early stages. I was pretty disappointed to go home without you that night!) As the morning went on, I became certain that Sunday was it. (I had something called a "bloody show," which is really gross but also very exciting, and it just made me more certain that you were going to arrive very soon.) While I was in the shower, the cramps/contractions were so painful that I had to lean against the wall and squeeze my eyes shut. Finally, we went to the hospital around noon. They checked me, and said that I was four centimeters dilated. I was so psyched, little one. Your dad and I were over the moon at that point, and so ready to meet our little girl! Not even the cranky nurse in triage could put us in a bad mood! They wheeled me upstairs to an antenatal room (because evidently there was a weird smell in the hallway where the delivery rooms were), and your dad called Memere so that she would head to the hospital. The doctor, Dr. Perry, was very no-nonsense about the whole thing. She came in, asked why I hadn't had an epidural yet if I wanted one, and got me hooked up with the anesthesiologist. Now, at this point, my contractions were really, really painful. It seemed like every one was stronger than the last. When the anesthesiologist administered the epidural, my first thought was, "Ugh, weird, it feels like something is in my spine," and my second thought was, "Holy crow, I feel amazing!" And I really did. Suddenly, I couldn't even feel the contractions. My lower body felt warm and wonderful, and then your Memere arrived, so I hung out with her and your dad until the doctor came back. (We were watching Knocked Up, which was on TV. It seemed appropriate.) She had ordered something called Pitocin, which made my contractions stronger (even though I couldn't feel them), and when she checked me a few hours later, I was startled to hear her say, "Okay, you're fully dilated. We'll have you start pushing in about forty-five minutes." That was when I freaked. I was so afraid the pushing was going to hurt terribly, and my teeth were chattering and I was shaking from the rush of adrenaline that happens when women are so close to giving birth. My blood pressure started acting up, and they raised my bed and gave me oxygen until I felt better. Our nurse was a very sweet lady named Mary, and when it was time to push, she was very comforting. After the first one, I calmed right down. It didn't hurt! I could feel that something was happening, and that you were a little lower and closer to meeting your mom, but I wasn't in pain. I pushed for about forty minutes, and then there was you! When the doctor broke my water during one of my checks, she said there was meconium in it, and I was so worried that I wouldn't hear you cry right away, because they might have had to suction some goop out of you, first. That didn't happen, though. You were born crying, and you kept it up while all of the nurses got you cleaned up and weighed. You were born at 7:39pm, weighing 8 pounds, 5.5 ounces, and measuring 20-1/2 inches. When I finally got to hold you, Maddie, I was in love, and I've been holding and loving you ever since!
You're almost two weeks old now, and I am just obsessed with you. I love every single part of being your mommy.
With all my heart,